A Journey of Faith, Love, and Transformation
At just 19 years old, I married the love of my life. Our courtship was brief—we were engaged within months of meeting—but we were deeply in love. Looking back, I realize how little we truly knew about each other, but at the time, it didn’t feel that way. I was smitten, and nothing else seemed to matter.
Discovering Faith and Marriage
I was raised in a Christian home and considered myself a believer by default. However, my understanding of faith was still growing. I knew that God desired believers to be equally yoked, but I didn’t fully grasp the depth of that teaching. When I asked my fiancé, Cliff, if he believed in God, he answered that he believed in a Creator. In my youthful enthusiasm, I took this as confirmation that we shared the same faith because God is the Creator.
Wanting a church wedding, we attended premarital counseling at my grandmother’s church. The pastor spoke about the importance of having Jesus in our marriage, but the deeper question of a personal relationship with Christ was never fully explored. At the time, I saw this counseling as a seal of approval, a confirmation that it was okay to proceed with marriage.
Early Marriage Struggles
A few years into our marriage, we faced challenges. Our differing beliefs, values, and immaturity led to conflicts. The worldly solution would be —leave him. Yet, I knew enough of the Bible to understand that divorce was not God’s desire. This led me to a turning point: seeking God’s guidance.
I began attending a non-denominational church with our children, though Cliff was uninterested. My approach to faith became forceful—I left Christian radio playing, prominently displayed my Bible, and constantly encouraged Cliff to attend church. Outwardly, I was devoted, but inwardly, I was missing the true essence of a relationship with God. My prayers were centered on asking God to change Cliff for my own comfort, rather than for his salvation.
A Wake-Up Call
I immersed myself in church activities, but my busyness became a distraction. One night, after a prayer meeting, I returned home only to realize I had forgotten to pick up my children from the church daycare. This moment of shame became a turning point. God was telling me to slow down and truly seek Him.
That very week, a stranger at church handed me a note card with 1 Peter 3:1-4 written on it.
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
The passage emphasizes the power of a quiet and gentle spirit in influencing an unbelieving husband. Initially, I resisted its message, but in time, I understood. I had been trying to change Cliff through outward displays rather than allowing God to work in his heart.
A New Approach to Prayer
One night in prayer, I had a vision of a bright figure cradling Cliff and a voice in my heart asking, “Do you love him?” Three times the voice asked and three times I answered, “Yes, Lord.” Then came the command: “Then pray for him.” But this time, I understood—I needed to pray for his salvation out of love, not selfishness. Not for my marriage, but for his eternal life.
Instead of pressuring Cliff, I quietly prayed for him each night as he slept, trusting God to work in his life. Over the next two years, God placed people in Cliff’s path who ministered to him. And, in turn, God was transforming me into the wife He intended me to be.
A Life Transformed
Nine years into our marriage, Cliff made the decision to have a personal relationship with Christ. And I'm happy to report that through it all, the Lord strengthened our marriage beyond my dreams. This journey shaped both of us, teaching me the power of prayer, patience, and truly surrendering to God’s will.
This experience inspired me to create a piece of art—a woman with eyes closed, emerging from worldly distractions like roses, plaited hair, and ornate garments. These elements are depicted abstractly to emphasize that while outward beauty fades, the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a quiet spirit is cherished by God.
This artwork titled "Silent Testimony" was created with wood stain and India inks on a 20”x24” wood panel, is available in my shop. May it serve as a reminder that true beauty and transformation come from within, through faith and surrender to God.